A Younger, Smarter, Faster Me. So A Pinch of Ralph. A Whole Glass of Me.
Let’s Blog Over Baby Boy…
I really don’t believe in gender reveal parties. For whatever reason I think they’re a bit… dumb. However, I am not judging anyone who does have one. It’s a decision based on preference. I prefer to just share the news and have an epic baby shower. š
Throughout my pregnancy I haven’t been excited at all. Everyone else around me have celebrated my pregnancy. Friends, family, strangers, everyone. For me it was none of that. Looking back – after suffering a lot of loss, and other tragic events that hit me all at once – I think I was dealing with so many traumas that this seemed like more of a burden than a blessing.
I suffered a bad miscarriage in January after discovering some things about someone really close to me, and then not even a full month later I found out I was pregnant again. I prayed really hard that I never ever went through that again. The miscarriage and the trauma.
Then my first trimester of pregnancy was here and man was it tough. It got so bad that I didn’t think I’d actually live through my pregnancy and I definitely didn’t think my baby would survive. Once I got better I was afraid he’d disappear, but the doctors kept telling me he is strong. He has a purpose. He wants to be here. This baby is M A G I C. Magic… a word so many have used to describe my son. Miracle… a word so many have used to described my triumph through this pregnancy. Simple, but huge meanings behind them. I was really, really bad off those first few months.
Tuesday night I sat outside with some friends and family just talking. It was a clear night, a full moon, and a sky full of stars. I could literally feel the change in my body. The blooming within, and how my heart seemed to flutter with the wind. I remember saying a silent prayer over my baby and just asking God to help me heal from the hurt and betrayal I was feeling. I asked God about his plan and his timing. I asked God to bless my baby. My wishes were for him (my son) to be Godly, happy, humble, and kind. Thoughtful, loving, and intelligent. True, dedicated, loyal, and honest. I then said to my belly “show me that you’ll be all of those things and more.” BOOM! Just like that I felt the first and strongest kicks back to back. Wednesday I finally got the news that he’s a boy. Basically another confirmation. He’s healthy. He’s strong. He’s perfect. I was over the moon!
Life is a gift, and God makes no mistakes. My son’s life will be an awfully big adventure, and I – along with so many other people – am so excited to meet him come October. š¤
Thoughts?